Judge Not, Lest Ye Be in Big, Big Trouble!

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As I work with couples to help restore love, and individuals to enjoy life more fully, I am wracked by the price we pay for judgment.

“What a jerk!”

“You have no right…”

“They have no idea…”

“I was so dumb.”

“Utah drivers!”

Judgment has many forms but comes down to this: labelling something or someone as good or bad, right or wrong, rather than simply describing what it is. It goes without saying that harsh judgment hurts relationships. But the effects of small, day-to-day judgments ...

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Starting Marriage Out Right

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As the month draws to an end so does this series regarding dating, courtship, engagement and marriage. It reminds me of the young bride on her wedding day who told her mother, “I am at the end of my troubles!” Mother wisely responds, “Yes, but which end?”

If a couple got to know one another through “3-P” dating (planned, paid for and paired off), courted carefully and intentionally, and used their engagement period to establish practices and barriers commensurate with a ...

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Anxiously Engaged

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I would bet that at least 50 couples in our reading area got engaged in the past week. (I understand; I proposed to my wife on V-Day as well.) Even if you did not make or accept a proposal of everlasting love and commitment in the past week you can still listen in this week. I suspect you’re in for a few surprises.

Many men think of the engagement period as a simple formality, just a way to get a guy ...

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Order in the Court-ship!

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“Courting” sounds so old-fashioned, so unhip, so…well, so much like my parents. The idea of working hard to know someone, to demonstrate your value and your values, and practicing cooperating with another adult seems awfully dull. Perhaps that is one key reason our parents generally stayed married longer and reported higher levels of marital satisfaction than we do.

In truth very few young people understand the term courtship. I like to think of it by breaking it down: court—a planned trial ...

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50 Great Dates

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Dating is dying.

I am not suggesting that going on dates is akin to death. I am simply pointing out that dating—the time-honored activity of sharing your time and interest with someone of the opposite sex for two or three hours—is on a sharp decline.

The most common reason cited is fear—fear that someone will turn down their invitation, and fear that they won’t have any great date ideas. A lot of good young people are missing out on the fun, friendship ...

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